SPN Writes

Shane Paul Neil

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The Late Take: Matthew Knowles, Amara La Negra, and Colorism

Matthew Knowles stepped on a landmine for Black folks. In an interview with Ebony Magazine to promote his book Racism from the Eyes of a Child a “ personal reflection on racism in America through a childhood lived through the country’s most separate past.”

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The Late Take: The Cardi Grammy Freeze and One Awkard Theory

So I completely missed the Grammys on Sunday. I got caught up binging The Wire and fell asleep early. To be fair, award shows, in general, don’t really move my needle. This is particularly true of the Grammys which, at this point in my life, just proves my age as I know fewer and fewer acts each year.
I did, however internet (internet can be a verb right?), some of the performances the next day. Kendrick Lamar? Dope. Bruno and Cardi? Good times. Gambino? Here for it.
In the midst of all the post-Grammy hullabaloo (black people say hullabaloo right?), there was a ton of conversations about this head-scratcher of an interview with America’s sweetheart (fight me) Cardi B.
Before we get into the Cardi portion of the video I have a couple of quick questions:
  1. Is it weird that Eve has her “woman to woman I’m a fan” moment after she was on The Talk talking about Nicki Minaj and being graphic sexually? But you love Cardi? Ok…
  2. There is a moment with the two ladies in the background where they clearly forget that they are on live television and have what, in my mind, is a “How do my boobs look in this dress?” conversation that just makes me laugh.

The Cardi Conspiracy Theory

My observations aside, the real question about the interview is what the hell happened to Cardi in the middle of the interview? Play acting? A seizure? A signal from the mothership? Well, there is one theory that came to my attention this morning that I’m just going to go with.For the record, what follows is not my theory. This theory really shouldn’t be the brainchild of any cis hetero 40-year-old man. This came from a friend of mine this morning who, if she desires, can identify herself in the comments. She asked me to write this and who am I to say no.So my friend in all her infinite wisdom and knowledge of such things believes that Cardi had an orgasm mid-interview or at least a moment of high stimulation. In her best case scenario, she thinks Offset was somewhere with an app that controlled Cardi’s preferred device and decided to crank up the dial mid-interview. There are a ton of videos out there, like this one, and this one, and this one that demonstrates how remote vibrating panties work (lord why am I writing this). So maybe the soon-to-be newlyweds were having some freaky fun? What do you think happened? Comment below with your Cardi Freeze theory.

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Paper Bags: My Experience with Colorism

col·or·ism
ˈkələrˌizəm/
noun
  1. prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group.
    “colorism within the black community has been a serious emotional and psychological battle”

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The Late Take: A New Blog Exclusively on Facebook

Hello all, for the dozen or so of you paying attention I have begun writing a blog series I am calling “The Late Take” exclusively on Facebook.

The goal of “The Late Take” is to look back at stories and news that captured our collective attention and to put some thought into them after the dust has settled. Some of the stories will be goofy and fun, others not so much. Either way, I would love your comments as well as your shares.

“The Late Take” can be found in the page’s notes tab.

Thanks for your support!

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Poor Sleep and Pointless Jobs

I’m not the greatest of sleepers. I typically need to be listening to something to really fall into a deep sleep be it music, a podcast (Sleep with Me Podcast is greatness), or some sort of ambient noise. Lately, my sleep aid of choice has been listening to the Night Storms Playlist on Spotify. It is just a series of different recordings of rainstorms.

As I laid in bed trying to fade away it occurred to me that someone had to curate this playlist. Some person sat through what I can only imagine was hours of audio in order to pick out the best quality rain possible. I suddenly had so many questions.

Who was this person? Are they a rain expert? Are they an audio expert? Are they on the subway bobbing their head to a coastal storm front or do they prefer a light rain on a tin roof?

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep at all that night.

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Beer Money

This past Christmas through various relatives my son managed to accumulate what to a four-year-old must seem like a vast amount of money. His newfound windfall has gone largely to the purchase of various treats and toys much to my mother’s merriment. She specifically instructed me that this money was for “toys and bullshit.” Translation, she didn’t want her money going to anything practical. My son, being of like mind, when asked why he doesn’t buy his own pizza and junk food when we go out answers “You’re the grown-up, you’re supposed to pay for it.” Fair enough. [Read more…] about Beer Money