Aaron and Dacia help Bacon push through Syberian hay fever and Shane Paul Neil celebrate his birthday by discussing the Negro princess, parenting a tiny Hulk (Dacia) and a tiny Most Interesting Man in the World (Shane) respectively, and we start spoiling Thor: Ragnarok at exactly 55:40.
Unreasonable Fridays Podcast Ep. 15: The Adventures of Captain Sparkles
It is hot as fuck
Top floor, no a/c, no fan
I really like you
It’s the jerk chicken
Maybe the chopped BBQ
Me you BK too
Your cat? Yeah she cute
But we both know she ain’t shit
I’m lying she’s dope
Spending time with a son or a daughter you only get to see sparingly is to watch them wring you for love the way a man lost in the desert wrings a damp towel for water.
I’ll never forget the day I almost drowned…
I was working at a summer camp for autistic children. My group was in the pool splashing and playing. It was particularly hot, I could almost feel the water evaporating off my shoulders. I stood at the buoy line that divides the shallow and deep ends. Looking back I was a foolish option for this task being that I can’t swim. That said, I only had one job, stay on the shallow side of the line.
One way or another I managed to take a half step backward and immediately slid down the slope to the bottom of the pool eight feet below. I sunk like a stone and I’m at the center of the pool far from any of the edges. Almost instinctively I leap straight up with enough force that my head clears the water. Gasp and sink. I fire up again. Gasp and sink. I can’t see where I’m headed, or that I’m headed anywhere. Just gasp and sink. I do this for what feels like forever until my hand touches the slick tiled wall of the pool. I leap, grab the pool’s edge and pull myself up wheezing and coughing.
The lifeguard on duty looks at me and asks “you ok?” I replied, “No, I was drowning.” He looks at me and says “Really? It looked like you were just playing in the pool.”
I learned two lessons from that moment. One, sometimes you have to touch the bottom to get to the top. Two, you can’t assume that everyone understands your struggle, even if they are watching it happen.
Oh, and if you can’t swim, stay the fuck away from the deep end.
Seeing how Facebook has the personal information of most everyone in the country, could Zuckerberg run as “The aggregate President?”
Breathe in, breathe out, slow
Rushing didn’t get you here
Your pace proves your faith