So I completely missed the Grammys on Sunday. I got caught up binging The Wire and fell asleep early. To be fair, award shows, in general, don’t really move my needle. This is particularly true of the Grammys which, at this point in my life, just proves my age as I know fewer and fewer acts each year.
I did, however internet (internet can be a verb right?), some of the performances the next day. Kendrick Lamar? Dope. Bruno and Cardi? Good times. Gambino? Here for it.
In the midst of all the post-Grammy hullabaloo (black people say hullabaloo right?), there was a ton of conversations about this head-scratcher of an interview with America’s sweetheart (fight me) Cardi B.
Before we get into the Cardi portion of the video I have a couple of quick questions:
- Is it weird that Eve has her “woman to woman I’m a fan” moment after she was on The Talk talking about Nicki Minaj and being graphic sexually? But you love Cardi? Ok…
- There is a moment with the two ladies in the background where they clearly forget that they are on live television and have what, in my mind, is a “How do my boobs look in this dress?” conversation that just makes me laugh.
The Cardi Conspiracy Theory
My observations aside, the real question about the interview is what the hell happened to Cardi in the middle of the interview? Play acting? A seizure? A signal from the mothership? Well, there is one theory that came to my attention this morning that I’m just going to go with.For the record, what follows is not my theory. This theory really shouldn’t be the brainchild of any cis hetero 40-year-old man. This came from a friend of mine this morning who, if she desires, can identify herself in the comments. She asked me to write this and who am I to say no.So my friend in all her infinite wisdom and knowledge of such things believes that Cardi had an orgasm mid-interview or at least a moment of high stimulation. In her best case scenario, she thinks Offset was somewhere with an app that controlled Cardi’s preferred device and decided to crank up the dial mid-interview. There are a ton of videos out there, like this one, and this one, and this one that demonstrates how remote vibrating panties work (lord why am I writing this). So maybe the soon-to-be newlyweds were having some freaky fun? What do you think happened? Comment below with your Cardi Freeze theory.