I’m incredibly late on this but one of the things that have bothered me about the whole Ansari thing is the idea that being socially awkward is an excuse for sexual misconduct, assault, and rape.
To know me is to know that I have some semblance of social awkwardness and some social anxiety. I don’t always have a grasp of nonverbal cues in general. Because of this, I am MORE attentive out of people’s vibe because I don’t pick up on them as quickly. In the time since my marriage ended my short history of dating has largely involved either asking very blatant questions (would you like to have sex) or waiting for her to initiate (let’s have sex). I have frequently asked “Are you ok?” during sex because I got a hint of discomfort and acted accordingly based upon the response.
Generally speaking when a person has a physical or mental deficiency that person WORKS HARDER to function “normally.” Why in the instance of sexual misconduct and assault are we now ok with shifting responsibility to potential victims? Awkward people know they are awkward. People with anxiety know they have anxiety. But when it comes to misconduct and assault ignorance is acceptable?
We have to do better.